Thursday, September 30, 2010

A surefire way to stimulate the local economy.

So, as I was mulling the situation with the local economy the other day on the way to work--it's hard not to reflect a bit when passing the hundreds upon hundreds of "FOR SALE" signs on the side of the road that all of us encounter every day-- well sure, I'm sure some of those are pertaining to the recent election but same difference, right?. . . and suddenly it struck me-- a sure fire way to stimulate the local economy and set us back on the right track to prosperity.

Let's build a lot of damn big stone heads on the beach! Kinda like these but out of "green" materials. Is rock "green"? Bigger would be good too. After all, the ones in the picture were built a thousand years ago and surely we've learned something since then. . . By the way, I don't much care for the one with a lump of shit on his head, perhaps we could do away with that and keep the whole thing a little more subdued and austere. It seems that the lumps fall off and create a maintenance problem anyhow. I've never been a big fan of gratuitous architectural details--of the do it just because you can kind--and while I'm sure that lump of shit is heavy and there's some value in that, I'd still vote against it on aesthetic grounds.

Building stone heads accomplishes many things.

1) Building stone heads stimulates the economy, first by pissing away money, and secondly by stimulating tourism, as big stone heads around the world are a first class tourist draw.

2) Stone heads will solve all traffic problems on Hwy 130.

3) Building stone heads will address our problems with invasive species, feral cats, and climate change all in one fell swoop, and make us energy independent to boot.

4) Stone heads will repel potential invasive armies, as they are obviously scary.

5) Stone heads will create permanent jobs, as some must maintain and monitor the stone heads. Stone heads are ideal for creating permanent jobs as they last centuries with no maintenance or monitoring.

In fact, modestly I'd suggest it may even be possible to improve on my stone head concept by not actually building them, but just considering how and when and where to build them endlessly until all the money to actually achieve something useful is pissed away(pocketed), but none of it is actually lost to something as wasteful as real infrastructure that addresses the needs of future generations.

But I'll leave that issue open to study and review by the experts. Surely there's grant money in this!